The Art of Conversation:
“What Do I Say Now?” Part II
- Some Expert Advice
Diane Schroeder, creator of a Web site for the shy, (www.shyrelease.com), says many of us feel fearful of saying the wrong thing and are too quick to judge ourselves.
We wrongly believe the new person will be angry or uninterested.
According to Schroeder, you can feel free to speak to anyone you like once you have a reason. For example, if you see a newspaper columnist or reporter at a party,
“…you can walk right up to them out of the blue and say, ‘Excuse me...You don’t know me, but my name is _____ and I saw your article about _____ in the paper…,’
and go from there.” If the writer is with other people, stand near the group, politely wait for a break in the conversation, and then begin speaking.
Diane states, “You need to be assertive and speak up. Being timid makes you invisible, and they may continue talking if you don’t say anything. It’s not rude…you are not
butting in and bothering them. YOU may feel you are, but THEY don’t. This is part of what conversation and being with other people is about.” *
Global networking specialist, speaker, and author Robyn Henderson agrees that such an attitude is important. In her article “What Do I Say after I Say ‘Hello’?” she says
the speaker to believe she has something worthwhile to say—and also believe that the listener has something worthwhile to contribute.
Henderson states, “Effective networkers have a belief system that every single person they meet is incredibly interesting and has much to contribute to any conversation.”
Effective networkers also “connect” to others. They focus on the person to whom they are speaking. They are not distracted by worries about what others think.
The key, Henderson explains, is “basically…treating people the way you would like to be treated yourself.” After all, the other person may be even more nervous about networking
than you are. You’d want someone to make you feel comfortable. So why don’t you make someone else feel comfortable by striking up a conversation? Knowing you are putting someone
at ease will make you feel good about yourself, too. **
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*Taken from “Who, When and How to Meet New People” by Diane Schroeder at http://www.shyrelease.com/articles.asp?ID=62 Schroeder states she suffered from shyness for 40 years, and she created the site to prevent other shy people from suffering as she did.
** Taken from “What Do I Say, After I Say, "Hello"?” by Robyn Henderson, Networking to Win, http://www.networkingtowin.com.au/art5.html
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