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Dear Kaya:
Many of the letters I address deal with friendships that have been built over a long period of time. That doesn't make your question any less valid, so I'm glad
you asked it.
What DO you do when you've met someone with whom you'd like to have a friendship, only to find that they're unresponsive? It’s quite a dilemma, because when a
friendship is in its initial stages it’s very difficult to determine what makes the other person tick. For instance, when you've had a best friend for years and years, you know all their likes and dislikes, things that irritate them, and things that make them happy.
What you shouldn't do is worry yourself too much over this, and try your best not to allow the situation to further affect your work. Your question specifically addresses contacting your new friend via on-line methods. Not everyone (including yours truly!) is good about
responding to e-mails. People often read e-mails and may have the best of intentions about writing back, but for some reason or another they get distracted and forget to reply.
Do you have another way to contact her, possibly via telephone or in person? Try that, because she may prefer to communicate that way. And if she still seems uninterested, move on to other people who will value your friendship more.
Not a year goes by where I really hit it off with someone I meet at a party or the gym, end up exchanging telephone numbers, then neither of us ever bother to call the other. It’s not a personal slight – just the product of busy people, busy lives, and too little time
to keep in touch. It’s not exactly the way things would work in a perfect world, but it’s a reality nonetheless.
I hope this friendship works out for you, and if it doesn't, that you will find someone who is better at keeping in touch. Best of luck to you, Kaya.
Lacey
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