• Drop off a complete meal for the family immediately after the baby is born. It doesn’t have to be elaborate -- just a simple pasta dish, a bagged salad, and frozen breadsticks will do the trick. I promise you, the new parents will be eternally grateful.

• Be sure to call and send your congratulations, but wait to be invited for a lengthy visit – new parents are often overwhelmed by people dropping in at all hours to see the bundle of joy. They will enjoy your visit so much more after several weeks have passed and it dawns on them that parenthood has severely curtailed their freedom to socialize. Then they’ll be thrilled to see you!

• Bring a useful gift, like diapers, undershirts, baby wash, or a gift card for a local children’s store. Fancy outfits and stuffed animals may be the norm, but something that a new family can actually use that saves them money in the process is a gift that will be remembered forever. It’s also thoughtful to request a gift receipt at the time of purchase, just in case.

• If you have to bite your tongue hard enough to draw blood, then so be it, but by all means refrain from saying things like, “The baby looks like he’s too cold,” or “She doesn’t look like either one of you.” Brand new parents can be just a little sensitive because deep down they are scared out of their wits and already doubting how they’re going to propel this child to adulthood – they don’t need their insecurities reinforced! Just tell them it’s the most beautiful, intelligent-looking baby you ever saw, and do not under any circumstances give advice unless you are specifically asked.

• When in doubt, ASK what you can do to help. If you’re told “nothing,” then accept it. And don’t forget to praise the baby several more times. Every parent lives for that.

Lacey