Finding Friends Offline
(the traditional method)
Classrooms are terrific breeding grounds for friendships. Those enrolled in a class already have a common goal, and that fact alone gives friendship a head start. When I took classes at the local college after work, I easily struck up several friendships—and I am shy, too. Students can easily meet for study sessions or for coffee after class. There are a myriad of classes available at most community colleges. While the student learns how to speak Spanish, sculpt, play golf, or use Excel, she/he can meet new friends. What a perfect set-up!
A new friend awaited me at the public library, which I frequented to research school papers and places to travel. We both seemed to go to the library at the same time, and soon we started to go other places together. That leads me into another way to meet friends: Travel. Friends of mine are great travelers, signing up to go on weekend ski trips sponsored by their company, trips to New York City with members of their church, and tour groups to local attractions. They now e-mail and visit the good friends they have made through these trips
Becoming a member of a group or club is a great step toward finding a friend. Becoming an active member is better yet. Rather than simply visit church once a week, join in a church group to help teach youngsters religion, sing in the choir, visit shut-ins, or distribute food and clothes to the unfortunate. Rather than simply attend Chamber of Commerce meetings, become a member of a committee to help the “at risk” groups in your community. After you join a professional association, run for an office such as secretary or treasurer. All these activities will put you into closer contact with members of your group, increasing the likelihood of making friends.
Of course, joining a sports team is also a good way to make friends. As you trade tips on how to handle a curve ball, a slice, or a three-pointer, you will start to form special bonds with a couple of team-mates. After running a few laps around the track with the same people for a few weeks, you’ll get to know them very well indeed—from the size of their shoes to the names of their pet parakeets.
Volunteer groups are not only great resources for finding friends, but they also will make you feel good about helping others. As you ladle out soup to the transient, hobnob with members of an elderly community, teach adults to read, or coach a little league team, you may make friends with other volunteers—and with those you are helping.
There are many other friend-finding resources. Regularly visit your local park, museum, restaurant, bar, etc. You’ll soon find other regulars with whom you have much in common. Read the events section of your newspaper and attend plays, concerts, fairs, etc. In other words, get out. Before you know it, you’ll get into a friendship. Of course, that doesn’t mean that you can’t find friends inside…
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