How to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a conversation where you just did not agree with what you where hearing. Whether
the topic is religious in nature, a political debate, or something as trivial as who has the better buns Mel Gibson or Brad Pitt,
sometimes you just don't agree.
What should you do in that circumstance? Well, if you're interested in continuing the conversation, you might be inclined to just
bite your tongue and let your conversation partner ramble on. Or perhaps you're style is to agree with everything, regardless of how
you truly feel, for the sake of being agreeable.
Well, both of those methods will work, but isn't it much better to have a really interesting conversation where everyone’s opinions can
be heard, respected and discussed? As a practitioner of the art of conversation you should be able to disagree with your conversation
partners without being disagreeable.
What’s the Difference?
Well, when you disagree with someone you have a difference of opinion. When you are disagreeable; you are unpleasant, offensive, quarrelsome
and bad-tempered. The two do not have to go together. You can disagree with someone’s point of view with out being quarrelsome or unpleasant
about it. Here are some examples of how to disagree disagreeably.
Disagreeable Ways to Disagree.
“That’s the dumbest think I've ever heard.” “Where did you come up with that idea?” “That doesn't make a bit of sense.” “You're wrong.”
Say any one of the sentences above, or something similar, and your conversation will either come to a screeching halt or blow up into a full-fledged argument.
Disagreeing the Right Way.
“Your point of view is very interesting, but I think…” “Its been my experience that…” “I believe that…” “You could be right, but I'm pretty sure that…”
How could anyone take offense to your giving an opposing viewpoint when you start with any one of those sentences, especially if it’s given in a friendly, non-combative
tone of voice? It is possible to disagree with out being disagreeable.
Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, no matter how wrong you think it is. Keep that in mind, and you will be able to disagree agreeably with anyone you meet,
and have interesting, thought provoking conversations.
And who knows? Occasionally, you might even be convinced to change your mind.
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