Conversation Tips:
Conversation Stoppers -
Don't Be A Me Monger
What’s a me monger? Well, don't look it up in a dictionary because you won't find it. “Me monger” is a expression I've coined to describe someone
who constantly turns a conversation so that he can talk about himself.
If you've ever had the experience of having a salesperson try to get you to buy the product she wants to monger or sell, then you know that
a good “whatever” monger (be it a fishmonger, ironmonger or newsmonger) will always tell you that what she’s selling is better than anything else out there and it can do practically anything.
The “me monger” is also a salesperson, except the product he’s selling is himself. Any topic you bring up in conversation, from athlete’s foot to zoology, he’s been there and done that, or he knows
someone who’s been there and done that. And he will usually be the strongest, the fastest or the smartest at whatever the subject is. Selling yourself might be good on a job interview, but in general conversation it’s a great way to turn your listeners off.
Me Mongering Examples
So that you can get a better idea of what a me monger does, here are a few examples (the me monger is the respondent):
“I won $1000 in the lottery!”
“Really that’s great. I won $2500 in Vegas last year. It was so exciting…”
“My Aunt had bunion surgery last week, and she’s in a lot of pain.”
“I know she is. I had bunion surgery about 4 years ago and I wasn't able to walk for a solid week…”
“I saw a news story on television last night about a skydiver whose chute didn't open, but he survived the fall.”
“I saw that. That was amazing. You know, my brother goes skydiving all the time and…”
Of course there’s nothing wrong with giving a personal experience that fits in with the subject being discussed. It shows that you understand what’s being said, you're interested in the subject, and you have useful information to share.
But notice in the examples I gave that the me monger took over the conversation right at the very beginning and began prattling on about his experience. Think about the person that won $1000 dollars. Do you think that’s all he had to say on the subject?
What about the person’s whose Aunt had foot surgery? True, she could have just been making small talk, but isn't it likely that she brought up the subject for a reason? Wouldn't it have been better to let the conversation starter carry the conversational ball
at least for a little while?
How To Avoid Me Mongering
If you find that you say “I”, “my”, or “me” many times during conversations, perhaps you're guilty of me mongering. If you think you might have that tendency, ask yourself the following questions whenever you are about to give a personal experience:
Is my conversation partner finished with her thought? Is it really important that I give my experience now, or should I let her continue? Is my experience going to enhance the conversation, or will it seem like I'm playing a game of “I can beat that”?
A master in the art of conversation is someone interested in what others have to say, not someone mostly interested in taking about himself. So, avoid me mongering, a major conversation stopper, and become masterful in the art of conversation.
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